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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I've seen this issue from both sides.

My mother was 43 and 47 when she had her last two babies, both natural pregnancies, both after a health crisis at age 38 led to all her doctors telling her she could never have more children.  The silent treatment from the medical staff, I think, was three main things:  first, they were irritated to be wrong, and second, they thought she was absolutely insane for caring so much about protecting her fertility, and lastly, they could not grasp that she did not avail herself of certain technologies (as a faithful Catholic, some methods are not licit).  As for random strangers, there was the usual prejudice against older mothers, as well as the prejudice against large families (they were her 9th and 10th babies).

On the other side, I had my first baby five days before my mother had her 9th baby.  I looked like a baby myself, and still look young (I was mistaken for my 14 year old daughter at the orthodontist last week).  So it has always been "you don't look old enough to have X many children!!". And the weird silences I get with doctors and staff is because I have PCOS and hypothyroidism, but I have also been pregnant 11 times.  I am a medical outlier.  I think anytime you challenge the median, the typical, the norm, you will get looks and silences and even rude comments.

After all these years, the looks and comments still sting, but I make a decision to see them in the best possible light, and as an opportunity to share my joy in my children with strangers.  If you meet silence with cheerfulness, as if you assume the stranger is happy for you, they will often play along, and might even change their perspective a little.  See it as a chance to count your blessings, you know?  Because you should cherish every moment of this wonderful time of your life, and if you're fighting the tide, you'll exhaust yourself.  But if you float with it, it can become a source of humor, something that shapes your child's identity.

I wish I could tell you how amazing my youngest brother and sister are...so brilliant, so charming, so healthy, the light of my parents' lives.  One of my other brothers had spina bifida, but these two "miracle" babies were healthy from conception on.  Life is beautiful.  Congratulations!![/quote]

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