Reply to When to Honor DC Wishes for Custody?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here again, I don't think what dad is doing is healthy or right for our DC, in short, CPS was called and they determined that while it's not right, he's within his legal rights. For the troll, I wasn't the one who called CPS. And dad pays me nothing as we both make equal money so go troll your mom.

[b]I'd happily take up a fight for my daughter if I was convinced it's the right thing to do, it's why I'm online asking strangers for advice.[/b]

I like the idea of spending more time and money on making a child resilient. Life is going to be a series of challenges, so they need to know to deal with them. I think the therapist is fantastic for DC, she tried to work with dad on discipline, dad is good at saying OK and not doing. There's not much else she can do.

If I'm to take my ex to court over custody, I want to make sure I'm doing what's best for my kid, and maybe that is limiting time with dad and maybe that isn't. Maybe it is teaching my kid how to deal with an angry, physically disciplining dad. I tried to talk to my ex, but it goes no where.

Anyway, I appreciate the thoughtful responses I go, and for the trolls, this is getting old. I'm sorry you're so angry but maybe get a hobby.

[/quote]

OP, I am so sorry your daughter is going through this. I agree with others that this is abuse, no matter what the CPS determination is. And I definitely agree with the PP that corporal punishment of a 10 year old is very outside normal. What is she being disciplined for and how?

In regard to the bolded I absolutely think this is worth taking up the fight, but if you're going to take it up, take it up to win.

If I were you I would take a two step, long term approach. Step one is continuing to support your daughter - with therapy and whatever else she needs. And with a therapist that's willing to testify in court should that become necessary. And you need to find someone skilled that can help you navigate how you support your daughter while she's in a situation that you aren't allowed to legally change at this time. And you want to avoid alienation. I don't think that's healthy for her. If the therapist offers parenting classes or recommends one, I'd consider going.

Second, 10 may be too young for a judge to fully consider a child's wishes, but a child's wishes coupled with detailed information on why the child feels that way may carry more weight. I'd start documenting everything she tells you. Not grilling her upon her arrival home, but if she mentions he hit her, document it. Start researching - maybe call domestic violence organizations and find a lawyer that will help you put together a plan, someone that has done this before. If dad has been given a chance to make a change and won't, then that's on him.  But I don't think your kid should have to just take it without any effort by you to intervene.[/quote]

All this is spot on, and I especially hope OP sees the last paragraph. [/quote]

+100. I would also advise the school and her pediatrician if it is truly serious. So they can support with any behavioral changes they may notice during transition periods, and also direct to social community resources that may help. These situations are unfortunately very common.[/quote]

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