Reply to Wife resents me for not earning more

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[quote=Anonymous]OP - first, address your shame.  Shame will not help you - it will just paralyze you from acting, or you will act in ways not aligned with your best self.  Your wife has some sh&t to sort out too, but you can only change the way you think and feel about this.  Your 20s are done.  You cannot go back.  You have your present, and hopefully your future.

With self-compassion, look at the actual numbers of your current income and expenses.  Then write down what your "financial" goals are.  And how to you want to live now and hopefully in the future.  Are your kids in day care?  Will that expense be eliminated in the near future?  There may be a trade off where you don't save as aggressively or pay of debt to allow some more flexibility in your wife's schedule while the kids are young and to avoid paying some day care.

Do you want to move?

Good luck!  Change comes first from self-awareness and self-compassion, and then action.  Shed the shame and move forward, young man!

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