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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Check your Divorce Agreement.  Mine states that the Party will introduce the new SO to the other Party if/when the SO is introduced to the kids, which should not happen prior to 6 months.[/quote]

I do not know why anyone would put that in a divorce agreement. I certainly did not.[/quote]

New poster here. It's called a morality clause, and nearly everyone I know has one. Having said that, every divorce attorney will warn you that it's not enforceable. It's pretty standard for divorces with kids around here in DC, Bethesda, CC at least. It makes people pause before introducing a revolving door of boyfriends and girlfriends to their kids.

I suppose if you have a do-it-yourself or a simple divorce, you might not think of it.

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We had a mediator and each had attorneys review. It never came up. I would not have put it in there anyway. I trust my ex is not going to introduce kids to random people and vice versa. Also, ex is an attorney and would never put in something not truly enforceable in a contract...only things that can be enforced legally. This is not one of those things.[/quote]

So curious. Why did you get a divorce if thing were so perfectly amicable between the two of you? Couldn't you stay married until your kids went away to college?

Every attorney I know (including myself) has a morality clause. I divorced another attorney.

OP, there is no easy answer to this question. Kids of divorce are hurting, even years later, despite what their parents want to believe. Just google the studies. One thing that can help them is to divorce as amicably as possible (as we all know already) and to avoid badmouthing the other parent (as we all know already) and avoid introducing them to a bunch of adults whom you and your ex are dating. Kids do NOT want to meet their parents' boyfriends and girlfriends.

I think you can introduce your kids to someone after one year, but maybe closer to two years of dating if you are very serious about them and you've had a discussion with them about becoming a permanent part of each others' lives. Every situation is different. Some people are happily remarried two years after divorce. Good luck, OP, you deserve to be happy.

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Being amicable in a divorce for the kids is not the same is a functioning marriage.

I don’t know why people don’t divorce better—just put your kids first. I can do that. I could not stay married anymore. It had already wasted a decade. It was always a mistake. I waited too long to get out in the beginning listening to others to “stay”—much harder to go when there is a pregnancy (unplanned). Then you “stay for the kids” for far too many years on a dead relationship. It was not normal in any way. Have you gone without any emotional or physical intimacy for 5 years in a marriage? Do you think I was going to do that for another 14 until college? No.

It is not at all healthy to stay in a miserable marriage until the kids go to college. I tried for almost a decade. It is not worth it.

My parents stayed married “for the kids” and it is the worst thing they could have done. I am not having the next generation screwed up by this. If it is not working and never will, a good divorce is far better that a façade of a marriage.
I can be a co-parent. I don’t have to be married. It’s better than living a lie and having kids see that and teaching them that an abnormal marriage is okay. We are all going to be better off.

I don’t know why people still think divorce has to be a huge disaster. If parents are emotionally mature, they can be amicable for their kids in a divorce.

I don't plan to remarry (my ex does not either). There is no need to legally or financial enmesh myself in another person's life. All of my money will go to my kids (ex feels the same). A long-term boyfriend is fine. I would only introduce kids if it was seriously long-term and a minimum of 1 year of dating. I am not living with a man ever again.
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