Reply to MIL pissed we didn't acknowledge/remember her wedding anniversary

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I actually would just let her be pissed. If you give in, I feel like you might be giving her power to think she can control more things in your life. Just send a text, "I'm sorry we forgot your anniversary."

FWIW when I got married, DH didn't know anyone's birthdays or anniversaries. I had to figure it all out and now it's on our iphone calendar. So we missed a lot of them. We dated for years before marriage and never received a Christmas card either. Our first married Christmas, I think we got about 40 from his side. I hadn't even ordered enough Christmas cards to send them back to all those people. Dating to married is a huge change. Suddenly all those people who ignored you for years want to be involved in your life.[/quote]

This is completely insane to me.

A grown-ass man has lived most of his adult life just fine without you. Remembering birthdays and anniversaries is not "a thing" to him. It's not a priority. It's a dynamic he has chosen not to engage in. You don't have to agree with that choice, but that is HIS CHOICE and it is HIS FAMILY. Those are HIS RELATIONSHIPS.

So you didn't "fix" or "correct" anything. What you did was essentially say that his judgment isn't sound; his choices aren't valid; and that you are here to over-ride his decisions and actions as a grown-ass adult.

And my question to you is: why? Why do you think HIS decisions are yours to fix? Why do you think that HIS relationships are yours to manage?[/quote]

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