Reply to divorced parents of young kids - how do you split christmas?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He is probably just catching on that divorce makes it harder to plan the holidays and harder to get his child time with the extended family.  Men can be dense like that.  Or his family is just coming around to see that divorce is permanent and will be their reality every year.  Have some patience with him but you don't have to give him what he wants all the time.[/quote]

Just to clarify, there is no extended family in the mix. By his family I meant his wife and step-children. [/quote]

Given he little time he has and the fact that her dad has a new family, I think you could have tried harder to make it work.  Your daughter needs to find her place in that new family and avoiding a rushed breakfast is not a reason to get in the way of her opportunity to find that place.  [/quote]

If the dad wanted time the dad should have planned for it the first time they made an agreement.  He is trying to change the deal at the last minute and that is an annoying habit that OP does not have to indulge.[/quote]

PP to whom you are responding.  This isn't about dad.  It's about how their daughter finds her place in her new life, which now consists of a whole family on her father's side.  She didn't choose any of this and it would be really helpful to her if her mother assisted in the adjustment by letting her become part of the new family's traditions.[/quote]

Maybe the leisurely morning is her mom"s tradition.  The child and her mom are a family too.  The dad does not get to unilaterally change what he already agreed to, and if he wants her to become part of his new family he should have thought of it earlier.  How much does he really care if he could not be bothered to plan?[/quote]

There is no agreement for holidays.  She offered every other weekend.  He choose not to argue about it as reality is as a man he wouldn't get 50/50 without a court battle.  She isn't flexible in any way over the visitation schedule.  She probably wanted the visitation schedule limited so she can get more child support.  Now she's restricting visits and not being flexible and soon will stop visits all together.  Its clear to see where this is going.  [/quote]

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