Reply to Divorced parents - how did you handle living arrangements after 18?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You keep the current visitation schedule and if they refuse to visit, as soon as they turn 18/court order allows it you cut off money to mom and renegotiate a relationship with your child.  No contact, no money.

If they want college paid for then they show you all paperwork and depending on the options or costs you offer 1/3 (you, mom and child share expenses) or 1/2 (you and mom) or what you can afford.  With that, you get a copy regularly of all grades and weekly phone calls or text.  And, visits at holidays/summers.  If they refuse, they can figure it out with mom as they are adults now.  If they want to be your child and gain from you financially, they need to behave accordingly.  And, make sure you see all paperwork (speaking from experience).
[/quote]

Do you actually have any adult children? Because, this is not how it works. Unless, yours just don't talk to you ever.[/quote]

Of course, they don’t talk to PP! But he just wants to be free of any financial contributions so it’s a win-win. He gets to keep his money and they don’t have to suffer contact with him.[/quote]

There is nothing wrong with having accountability for kids if you are paying for things.  Most mom's just want the money to come to them and they have the accountability.  That is part of alienation.

If he wants to be done with it because doesn't feel he has a relationship with his kid that is ok.  Clearly you are the mom who controls everything and sees Dad's money as yours.[/quote]

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