Reply to Getting coffee with an ex-boyfriend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
[b]I would absolutely do it, regardless of whether DW liked it or not.[/b]  I'd be up front and honest about it.  But frankly, there's no place for petty jealousy in our marriage, and if those feelings come up, it's her job to deal with them as an adult, just like it would be my job to do so if the roles were reversed.[/quote]

I'm trying to see your point, but quite honestly, that is just disrespectful to your wife.  You don't get to unilaterally determine what is "petty" and what isn't in a marriage.  Your wife gets a say as well and if she felt uncomfortable with it, calling her "petty" and doing it anyways is pretty obnoxious.  Clearly she doesn't think it falls into "petty jealousy
. You are essentially telling her that your needs (to have coffee with an ex) are more important than her feelings.

To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't care if my husband had coffee with his ex or with anybody for that matter.  I trust him.  I'm guessing my DH feels the same way.  But it still doesn't change the fact that if he WAS jealous or insecure about it - for whatever reason - HIS feelings would be more important to me than the coffee (and if they weren't - doesn't that just prove that perhaps there IS a good reason to be jealous??).[/quote]

Sorry, DW gets monogamy.  She's my partner.  Our relationship is based on trust.  But her failure of trust doesn't create an obligation on my part.  We're both adults and entitled to adult non-sexual relationships.  Would I care?  Sure.  Would I help her deal?  Yep.  Would I be irritated?  Yep.  But I'd still maintain friendships that are important to me.  You can't reward controlling behavior.[/quote]

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