Reply to Am I Asking Husband To Do Too Much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband has not been pulling his weight lately and thinks I’m asking for too much. We welcomed our first child ( 10 weeks old) a couple of months ago.  He took paternity leave and was wonderful. He spent time bonding with the baby, did housework, and waited on me with food and water. He’s been back at work for a month now and things have taken a 180. He has not done much besides spending a couple of hours a day with the baby. I’m doing most of the childcare and housework. I have told him multiple times he needs to do more things, but he has said I should handle it since he works all day. I understand he works all day but I’m exhausted too. Having to care for a baby, who often needs to be held for naps, is not easy. He said there is ample time for me to get housework done while baby naps, but I disagree. I’m also getting up with baby once at night. I’m going back to work PT in January and told him this won’t work for me. He said he will help out more once I’m back at work, but feels I should be doing most of the childcare and housework because I’m home. I feel me asking for more help is fair. I don’t know if being unreasonable with my expectations. [/quote]

When the baby is small is the easiest time.  Unsure how you're "exhausted" unless you're making a mess and not cleaning up after yourself.  I your husband is working and supporting the family solo, you should give him more respect.  It's a lot of stress (ESPECIALLY NOW) to support the family.  Do you stress over taxes, bills, food, medical costs, etc?  If your husband doesn't make the $$$ what happens to you and your baby?  Your family?

Too often the working husband is taken for granted.  Yes, being at home all day with an infant is BORING.  But, it's not STRESSFUL.  There is a huge difference.  My wife and I went through the same thing.  I operate several businesses.  It's high stress and long hours.  She worries about how to decorate the house.  I worry about taxes, investments, employees, COVID-19, debt, etc.  We're on two different levels.  Perhaps you need to see how your husband views what's going on.

This is not to say he shouldn't help at all when he's home.  But, after work he has a right to rest up.  Again, taking care of an infant is the easy stage.  Just wait.  All your kid does now is eat, sleep, and poop.  Just wait.[/quote]

OP here. I do love and respect my husband. I tell him this all of the time. I show him how much I appreciate him.

Have you cared for a 10 week old with nap issues? I can’t let baby cry because his room shares a wall with the spare bedroom that is my husbands office. I have to do a million things a day for the house and I take care of his parents too.

It sounds like you have never cared for your child.

We have plenty of money on savings and in the bank if something were to happen. He does work hard, but raising my child doesn’t make my job any less hard. [/quote]

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