Reply to Finding the birth mother in a closed adoption from Eastern Europe

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[quote=Anonymous]I am from Eastern Europe as well and I second all the PPs who say that this is a very different mindset and the birth mother is highly unlikely to be anything but devastated to hear from the child and most likely never let her current family know about her.

Adoption is viewed VERY differently in EE than here, even now and certainly back in the 1990s. People don't have children they put in an orphanage because they are devout and don't want to abort and/or hope for that child to find nicer situation in life parents, or because they were shamed into giving away a child they would have loved to have kept. They do it because they don't want the child (for emotional and/or economic reasons) and somehow were not in a position to abort. They KNOW that when they give up the child, parental rights are terminated and any adoption that would happen is sealed (if the child is in an orphanage adoption is not likely btw - they probably thought child would not be adopted.) They neither expect nor want to hear from that child again. All the people saying that a birth mother from EE should expect a child to possibly find them are not only forgetting that 1990s was a different environment with adoptees having a much harder time tracking birth parents, but that this is a very different environment where the culture does not expect the child to have either the means or the interest in looking a birth parent up.

I mean, nobody can stop you, do what you want. But it is not going to end well for your child and it will probably devastate the birth mother.

Also, PP who mentioned people in EE don't go for DNA websites is correct. My family and friends from different EE countries are all pretty uniform in viewing it as a weird American past time. If you come from a place where everyone has lived in the same town for the last gazillion years and everyone knows who their third cousin twice removed is because extended family networks are crucial, there isn't much point for doing this sort of thing other than for medical information because you know your relatives, you know where you came from, etc. I am not sure if you will have any success with that route.[/quote]

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