Reply to Should I be honest with my mom’s grief counselor?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Should I be honest with my mom’s grief counselor?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s happening abroad to my understanding; maybe there are different requirements for counselors.
The fact that you are NC and still are pained by this attempt shows you need your own counselor OP[/quote]

This is OP. It was actually after some counseling sessions that I felt empowered enough to go NC. I am from a culture which is very focused on filial piety and the idea of estrangement is quite shocking to people in my culture. My mom is an emotionally disturbed person whom I suspect also has Borderline personality disorder. Under her so-called concern for my well-being is really a need for control and I refuse to fulfill that desire for her. Which is why I’m thinking that it’s better to call the counselor rather than give her a response via email as I really like to maintain NC. If she actually shows a response via email to my mom, it would just be used as ammunition. I think pain for someone in my situation is quite a natural response. [/quote]

You can call if you want to, OP. But the counselor is just an extension of your mom. I think you should go no contact on the counselor too.[/quote]

OP and everyone who cuts off their parent, don’t you think it’s a cruel thing to do?[/quote]

let me ask you a question. let's say your dad starts raping you and beating you up at age 5 and keeps doing it throughout your  childhood and adolescence. you survive, live the house as an adult  and  and decide to cut off contact with the dad rapist. are you being cruel? do you think your duty as a loving daughter is to forgive and keep seeing the dad, then id you get raped again well things happen it is still your dad?

people who cut contact with a parent or a family member often do it because of excruciating abuse that would continue if they do not cut contact. I have witnessed in my extended family, a person who was clearly profoundly disturbed, she destroyed every person around her, her husband and all the kids eventually left and went no contact. they did not do it gingerly, they tried in all manners to maintain a relationship but it was impossible and cutting contacts was painful. the youngest child was the one who stayed in contact the longest, cutting contact in her 40's after a life threatening illness. this child tried to distance herself before and her mom would go around to other family members telling fake stories so the well meaning family members would contact the child and pressure her to call the mom or do whatever the mom wanted.

people who cut contact often are going through an extremely painful process because they have no other choice to save themselves. count yourself lucky if you cannot understand how people can get to this point. and if you cannot understand, leave these people alone, the last thing they need is your clueless negative judgment[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics