Reply to Should I be honest with my mom’s grief counselor?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s happening abroad to my understanding; maybe there are different requirements for counselors.
The fact that you are NC and still are pained by this attempt shows you need your own counselor OP[/quote]

This is OP. It was actually after some counseling sessions that I felt empowered enough to go NC. I am from a culture which is very focused on filial piety and the idea of estrangement is quite shocking to people in my culture. My mom is an emotionally disturbed person whom I suspect also has Borderline personality disorder. Under her so-called concern for my well-being is really a need for control and I refuse to fulfill that desire for her. Which is why I’m thinking that it’s better to call the counselor rather than give her a response via email as I really like to maintain NC. If she actually shows a response via email to my mom, it would just be used as ammunition. I think pain for someone in my situation is quite a natural response. [/quote]

You can call if you want to, OP. But the counselor is just an extension of your mom. I think you should go no contact on the counselor too.[/quote]

OP and everyone who cuts off their parent, don’t you think it’s a cruel thing to do?[/quote]

Don't YOU think abusing your vulnerable, helpless kids that YOU brought into this world is a cruel thing to do?[/quote]

One of my good friends has a mother with untreated mental illness and substance abuse issues. My friend and her sibling were essentially left to fend for themselves even as young as toddlers, and often starved - her earliest memory is being alone with her brother, scavenging the cabinets for food, and crying from hunger. Minor illnesses were not treated and became big problems. The mother was physically abusive as well, though rarely, and it turned to emotional abuse as the kids got older - screaming, berating, cursing, name calling.

My friend didn't have the courage to cut her mother off until she was an adult, after yet another screaming/berating episode. Her mom desperately wants to reconcile but my friend is unwilling. Wonder if PP think she's being cruel. There are certainly people in my friend's family who are telling her she should forgive and forget because "that's your mom and we all make mistakes".  [/quote]

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