Reply to Husband leaving hospital early?

Forum Index » Expectant and Postpartum Moms

Reply to "Husband leaving hospital early?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I did this with my second. My husband stayed for one night, and then left to be with our other child.

I didn't think it would be a big deal, but NO, with a c-section it was absolutely brutal. The hospital I gave birth at was very "baby-friendly" which meant I was alone in the room with a newborn 24/7. I couldn't physically pick them out of the crib thing because I'd just had major surgery. Unless you are positive you have a nursery to send the baby to - and are comfortable with that - it's just not a good idea. Even with the baby next to the bed - you can't twist in order to pick them up or put them down. You can't swaddle them. You really can't do much - except call the nurse every time you or the baby needs something. And it's super unsafe to just fall asleep with the baby on you... which would happen when I would doze off out of exhaustion, and the nurse would scold me, but of course not offer any other options.

It was pretty much the worst experience of my entire life.[/quote]

Same girl. And I had a vaginal birth with blood loss and was in labor for 3 days (no sleep). I shook when I held the baby and they didn't care. For the 45k it cost my insurance, surely they could have had someone help me lift or watch the baby so I could sleep!

OP, have a backup plan in case of complications. A neighbor, a set of friends that could take 1 or 2 kids? I absolutely wouldn't mind watching someone's children and have multiple times during labor. I don't care who you are or how close we are.

So I have a question on logistics- if DH leaves and comes back to pick you up, who brings up the baby car seat and carries it to the car? Do you just leave all by yourself and they dump you at the entrance in a wheelchair?[/quote]

Bull!  You had an OB and should have complained to him/her.  There is a hoslital rep to help  patients. I do not believe that you were on hard labor 72 hours.l
  You also had months to arrange care for other child.

[/quote]

wow.  I also experienced something similar.  I was left alone for days after surgery on painkillers with a newborn.  I had no idea that my spouse was expected to substitute as hospital staff.  I expected it to be similar as another major surgery I had.

You clearly have NO idea how badly some women have been treated at "baby friendly" hospitals.  Baby friendly likely is wonderful when it's a normal delivery.  when it's not, it can end up terrible for the mom.

I don't even think my OB was around and I can't imagine the reaction there would have been if I had said I felt unsafe with my newborn and needed help.  Same with the hospital rep.  I was treated badly and as a major inconvenience.  As if it were pure entitlement to want to recover some a major surgery. I was in incredible pain trying to get out of bed to change a diaper.

It seems ridiculous that my spouse should have to stay at the hospital with me after the delivery so that he can perform the work of the hospital staff as opposed to sleeping in his own home and caring for his other child.  Not everyone has a family member or friend that they can leave their older child with for 2-3 nights. Many grandparents are older and can't care for a young child for that long.  If my husband has heart surgery, will I be expected to stay overnight with him to help him out of bed, use the restroom, take care of a baby, etc?  no, of course not.

Next time, assuming it's not during COVID, I will hire someone to come to the hospital and allow me to recover.  however this is ridiculous and most women don't have the financial means to hire outside staff for a delivery or surgery.

If a hospital is performing surgery, then it's usually assumed that the nights spent following the surgery are for the patient to recover and rest.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics