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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here..  [b][b]I’m not sure if a therapist could tell me anything that would make me feel better.[/b][b] [/b]My DHs dad was killed instantly in a car wreck at 75 and of course he was devastated.  His mom died slowly with dementia in her 80s in a home.    I’m not trying to diminish the deaths of his parents but I can’t help feeling that I wouldn’t be so devastated  if my dad died like either of his parents.   Would I?[/quote]

I am so sorry for your loss.  Grief is a process -- a therapist can help you along -- but it's not the therapist's job to say anything that would make you feel better.  I'm thinking you haven't lost anyone in your life?  This is a tough first.  I don't think how someone dies changes the pain of your grief.  I know a woman whose mother was in a horrible car accident.  My friend struggled with the fact that her mother died alone on a highway.  (Unfortunately they read the autopsy report -- that said she didn't die instantly).  My own mother died a slow and gentle death -- but watching her slip away for a few years was very difficult.

Grief is hard and it is different for everyone. It's not a competition.  Good luck.......  be kind to yourself ..... the holidays can be especially painful.
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