Reply to Coming to terms with my father dying in isolation from covid

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[quote=Anonymous]My dad died alone and scared with Covid in April. We weren’t allowed visits and we were separated for the three weeks he was dying. It was terrible, and my mother was ripped apart with guilt the way you are. I felt a little less terrible, since my dad was a really kind and scientific man and he knew what was needed in a pandemic - I hope his knowledge that he was making a sacrifice for public health helped him through. He was too sick to use a phone so we won’t ever know.

In any case, a relative wrote a note after Dad died that helped tremendously. His own dad had tied after a long and terrible illness. He wrote that it is important to remember that our lives are not defined by our deaths. We are more than our last days, weeks, or years. We are the totality of our lives, and the suffering at the end is just one small moment of the good and bad in our lives. It helped me remember my dad in his entirety, his long and wonderful life. He was more than his death, and so was your dad. Give it time, and you will begin to remember him as a full man, too, and not just the suffering at the end. Best wishes.[/quote]

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