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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Move family or separate the family for a year? "
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[quote=Anonymous]What exactly is your support system, op? Your kids are young enough that they will probably have little to no memory of this time. If it were me, I’d go. I didn’t get married to live separately from my husband. I also didn’t get married to single parent. What happens should your husband decide he loves up north and wants to stay? You will be the trailing spouse which is a miserable place to be. Even if your husband is a Boy Scout, and you are a Girl Scout, i.e. no extramarrital relations, it is very easy for you both to get used to being single in the g-rated sense of the word. He’ll get to go out and do whatever on weekends and evenings and loose perspective of what it is like having kids and a wife. You’ll loose perspective of what it’s like having a husband around. Your husband will probably really miss his kids even if he isn’t a kid person. It happened to my dad when my parents did something similar. It’s been over 40 years since my parents made a move similar to yours and to this day my dad says “I wish I’d told my boss to wait until your mom finnished her year with the school system so we could all go together”. As for visiting, it won’t happen as much as you think. Trains and planes get delayed or canceled. If you or he drives, expect a couple car wrecks, driving while tired because one of you feels they “have to get back” driving in conditions that you don’t normally encounter, things like that. I’m not sold on the mindset of “this is the only career option” unless your husband does very specific tasks. Maybe he does. Most people don’t. I’d rent out your current place (or let it sit empty) and be with your husband. Normally I think being a landlord is the worst thing a person can do, but in your case it makes some sense. You’d get to experience something that seems to be really important to you guys, and if you do want to come back, you’ll have a house. Keeping a house doesn’t mean you have to go back, or that you have to live there, it just means that you can in a way that isn’t possible when you sell. [/quote]
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