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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks everyone for the helpful responses. I will work on presenting my response in the most caring way possible. Hopefully he will hear it in the way that I intend. I do want him to get better, and I don't want to write him off, but I am not in a position to help him with the problems he has. I can offer encouragement for him to get the help he needs, but I am just not equipped to provide the level of support that he is asking for from me. I'm truly sorry that he is having a hard time. I just can't be responsible for dealing with it in the manner he wants. He is convinced that he isn't an alcoholic and he is also convinced that no therapist can help him. I don't know what he expects me to do, but I am definitely at my wits end. I appreciate all the advice and relatable stories you have shared. [/quote]

You need to take care of you, and from this post it seems you're pretty clear on what you need to do that.  You're hung up on your "responsibility" to him as a sister. There is no such thing. No such contract. You get to decide what the responsibility is. You get to decide how much you want to be involved or not. Sounds like you're pretty clear on what you can handle, now own that and don't waste any more time feeling guilty about it.

Also remember that nothing you do or decide now with relation to your brother is a permanent decision.  What you've been doing isn't working for you so only a martyr would keep doing it and expect a different outcome.   Set your boundaries, be firm, and reassess if it makes sense to later. [/quote]

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