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[quote=Anonymous]OP here - thanks for the responses. I had my son write thank-you notes to the step-grandparents for his last birthday and Christmas, which his stepmom sent to them. We will do the same this year.

Mom definitely has other issues. She has had some tough breaks in life and has settled into patterns of constant self-pity and victimhood. I'm keeping my eye on things, because my grandmother's erratic behavior also escalated with the onset of dementia. She's very isolated as well, made worse by Covid, but also by the fact that she's alienated a number of longtime friends and family members in the past few years.

PP who asked about why I told her -- I didn't; DS did. At Thanksgiving, he was playing with one of the gifts they sent him (his bday was last month), and she asked where he got it. Things escalated from there, as they do with her. She has refused to apologize to my ex, so I did on his behalf. I don't believe he's mentioned it to his wife, and there's no way her folks would know.

Anyway, I've always been the one to extend the olive branch and smooth things over with her since I was a kid, and this is a good reminder that I need to continue setting and enforcing boundaries.[/quote]

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