Reply to I deserve an apology. I’ll never get it. How do I move on?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Not a love interest, and I have absolutely no expectation or desire to have future interaction with this person. Unless you count the fantasies I have of winning an award and bumping into them as I leave the ceremony looking fabulous and filled with joy and accomplishment. But no.

And while I get and have received the advice about forgiveness before, I’m just being honest: I will not forgive someone who has evaded accountability. Consider it a religious belief.

I just want to stop thinking about it. I want to stop feeling angry and hurt. Without forgiving them.[/quote]

OP, I would suggest what my therapist said (easier said than done, of course, which she also said is one of the challenges a therapist faces). You TELL yourself "stop" when those thoughts appear. You have something (she was big on using something easily memorized, could be entirely banal--the alphabet, a prayer, a nursery rhyme, whatever) for your mind to do instead. You practice it. Another idea: replace the thought about what was done to you with the huge feeling of relief you found out what a slimy evil person they were and won't ever be their victim again.

But it does take practice. Just like playing the piano takes practice. [/quote]

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