Reply to I deserve an apology. I’ll never get it. How do I move on?

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Reply to "I deserve an apology. I’ll never get it. How do I move on?"

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[quote=Anonymous]If someone owed you $$ and you knew you were never getting it back, you might move on by just forgiving the debt in your mind. Do the same in this situation. Imagine it's a debt and you've stopped waiting to get repaid.

This happened to me. It took me years to get over it. It was work related, and I got the award in the end that you crave. Nothing bad happened to them except their career is stagnant. I still want nothing to do with them, but I've let go of the hurt and stopped internalizing it. I recognize in hindsight that their behavior was all about them and their insecurities. I could have done a better job sensing danger and protecting myself, but I've forgiven myself for that. I think in retrospect that to move on I had to forgive myself. Forgive myself for allowing myself to be in such a wretched situation, forgive myself for trying to ingratiate myself to someone who had some power over me at the time, and forgive myself for not handling the aftermath with as much dignity as I would have liked. I have no need to forgive her now, but she's irrelevant, and that's even better. Also, the karma piece is that she's stuck in life and I know my success gets under her skin. Also, I was in a position at one point where I could have helped her but chose not to, so she also lost out on a fantastic opportunity she would have loved because of her mistreatment of me. Good luck. I wish you peace. I honestly didn't think it would ever come for me, but it did. I had to actively make the choice to forgive the debt and fprgive myself.[/quote]

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