Reply to Aging parents - is there an age when it’s all about them?

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[quote=Anonymous]It's really refreshing to read these responses, because I've been feeling this way about my folks and was worried it was just me.

Mine have honestly always been very self-absorbed, but it's getting worse lately. They are in their late 60's, and while I know not all Boomers are this way, they are stereotypical of their generation in that generally, things have gone their way and they've lived very charmed lives. Not saying they weren't smart or didn't work hard, but theirs was a path of far less resistance compared to others. They were charismatic and attractive as young people and got a lot of attention and praise for it.

Now they are getting older, their world is getting much smaller. Perhaps the downside of easily finding success and getting attention for things that are beyond your control is that you may not develop much character. They aren't very interesting people to talk to. They don't have much perspective or wisdom, and they really struggle with empathy. I've noticed that a number of their longtime friends have pulled back in years. Others have serious health problems, so my folks aren't getting as much socialization (and both had very socially-oriented careers). They were used to a very full social calendar and people always wanting to get together. Now (and also with Covid), that isn't happening.

They also have very few emotional coping skills, so every setback is major. They were always healthy and active when they were younger and seemingly thought they were invincible, so the physical limitations they are facing have come as a nasty surprise. For the first time in their lives, things are not going their way in a profound sense, so any time I speak with them, it's just a litany of challenges that they're apoplectic at having to face.[/quote]

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