Reply to Aging parents - is there an age when it’s all about them?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know which comes first, but I've found this phenomenon is directly correlated with the person's world getting smaller.

My parents are now retired  and recently moved to a retirement home in a new town.  They have no friends and limited hobbies.  Every call is an endless litany of their upcoming doctors appointments, which are mostly for routine health screenings.  I literally had a weekly countdown to my father's colonoscopy for 6 months.  They're not even that old (late 60s), but their world is very, very small.  They have no friends and go nowhere.  They spent every moment of every day thinking about themselves.

My in laws, by contrast, are a few years older but are still active in the community.  They volunteer, are members of a garden club and are part of a book club.  They are fun to spend time with, as they share their lives with us and we share ours with them.[/quote]

THIS. IDK how much is aging and how much is just removing oneself from the world. It gets to the point where the drs appointment IS the thing they "look forward to." I mean I've heard relatives says WEEKS in advance, oh my check up is coming up -- in a month and a half; oh now it's only a month away. Whereas when people are still working, it's just an annoying task you think of the week of or the day before when you're like -- oh yeah I'm going to be late to the office tomorrow. Now granted you can't work forever and at some point everyone retires, but the people who are either still working in their 70s tend not to be like this. Not because you'll discuss every detail of whatever they did at the office -- though I guess some do -- but more because they still interact with the world, with coworkers, commute, stop by someplace to get lunch and tell you they found a good lunch spot etc. And for retirees the ones who have stuff going on tend to not be like this -- whether it's hobby clubs or friends or travel or whatever, they have things to look forward to and they interact with the world in a way that still keeps them "involved" with how things are. The ones OP is describing are like PP says -- no hobbies or interests, so what's left to think about -- themselves and that means [/quote]

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