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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This post is so enlightening. I've felt this way about my mother for several years now and can't say I recall her being quite so selfish and narcissistic when I was younger. My spouse thinks it's because we didn't have as much in common when I was younger as we do now that I'm also a mother etc. But I've felt like it's age or dementia or something.

You can't make a single statement to the woman without her framing it in her direct experiences. Like to the point where we just painted our kitchen and she was like "oh yeah, that's like what I painted [some part of her house]. Spoiler alert, it's not at all. Or "oh you just moved, well I'm buying new furniture too." These aren't the strongest examples but every single thing feels like a pissing match.

When does it become so hard for people to just say "oh yeah, that's really nice!" Or "great job" or something?

It's to the point where I don't even want to say anything because I'm too exhausted to deal. Like others have said, let her prattle on while I do something else.[/quote]

My mom’s the same. There isn’t a trend that she didn’t invent before it started and I know not to bring up an accomplishment of my child’s or a home project because she’ll have to find a way to top it. I think my mom actually really was like this the entire time I was growing up, but I never noticed until I had kids and could see that she was competing for attention. When she was playing that game with me, I just thought that I was a bad kid or that everyone’s parents treated them like mine did. Having children makes it easier to see that behavior with some objectivity, especially because my friends now have their parents in town frequentltnto help with kids and I can see “normal” adult child-parent relationships. [/quote]

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