Reply to I have a competitive, grandiose sister

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From your replies, it does seem that the sister does most of the work with your parents. She might have a personality clash with you, but she still put in more work than you. Have you ever said to her directly that you appreciate her taking on the bulk of care for your parents? and ask her how you can be more helpful and then put your side of the story forward and let her know how her words hurt you. [/quote]

I have joined in with her in expressing how great her husband, the newest family member, is with my parents yes. Again, there is no bulk of care yet that she assumes. My mother actually cooks for her and teaches her things she is interested in now, like sewing. My other sister does the dr. Calls more, or again, my brother in law who worked from home also pre pandemic. What she does is visit more (and someimes fight with her more) but yes, that is somethingn of course. Yes, I support that and say thank you. Other people visit my mother too, she is active and we have a large extended family. She needs to win and needs to feel she does the most and i have to just let her have that. I just need it said, she is not a caretaker. She is not nurturing and giving like that. Her husband is. And my other sister is. They are the true heroes. And truly selfless.[/quote]

OP, I know someone who pulled this crap (there are also three sisters) - the oldest was relatively normal, but died on the young side (heart attack - but she was healthy - probably undetected murmur or something, not that it matters); middle one was always the mom's favorite, given everything (education, car, etc. - the other kids paid their own ways) always a failure no matter how much she was given.  The youngest one (my friend) was close to the dad, paid her own way, made her own success, and the middle sister can not STAND it.  Did you see the movie "Ever After" with Drew Barrymore? Yeah, kind of like that.

Then, to top it off, the middle sister stole whatever the parents had, money from parents' home sales, high end 24-24k gold jewelry, you name it - and claimed she "did all the work".  Your sister is angling for all the credit, one way or another.  In my friend's family, the remaining sister and brother don't even bother with the selfish sister, because what's the point?  In her mind, she is the best at taking care of everyone" - but she started this narrative decades ago, knowing she only took care of herself.  People like that are underhanded thieves and liars.  Boundaries are crucial. I don't know what to tell you, but the projecting and crazy is real in this kind of person.  They believe their own lies, which are endless. [/quote]

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