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Reply to "I have a competitive, grandiose sister"
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[quote=Anonymous]Try to "drop the rope" OP. Ensure that your relationship with your parents is what you want, that you're comfortable with it, that it doesn't matter what others think because you know that you and they are on solid ground. Do the same with your other sister. Then lay and keep the boundaries w/ the challenging sister. Do not engage or rise to the bait when she taunts you. Do not let your boundaries be disregarded. Do not let her dominate your world. Work on having a few things you can say when needed: - Well, I checked and it looks like X is what happened. So I am doing Y. (if you catch her in a lie, and if you REALLY need to bring it up for some reason.) - I appreciate all you do for our parents Jane. - I'm really comfortable with my relationship w/ Mom and Dad. And they're comfortable with me. If there is anything they need to discuss with me they will. I talk to them regularly and they know how to reach me. - Thanks for your concern. I'm fine. How 'bout them Jets? Etc... Just preprogram yourself not to rise to the bait. If you are not adding oxygen to her fire it won't burn as brightly and might just flame out. Also, there may come a day when having a sister who is so aggressively staking her claim as primary support for your parents will actually be a lifesaver. You might find - someday - that indulging or stroking her ego in that regard will support critical work she does for your parents, or in managing estate junk when the time comes. THat's a really dark view of things, but it's one that I've seen played out in my extended family. There is often someone whose self-worth is tied up in being martyred somehow, and that person often also does provide some really critical services. Hang in there![/quote]
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