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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I have a 17 year old who went through something similar recently. To me, this was an emergency situation calling for drastic measures. I  took away her phone, told her she could have no more cash for going out, and I refused to pay for college applications or college unless she brought everything up to at least a B. She had spent most of her time in her room wasting time and avoiding us so I told her she could only be in her room from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. in order to closely supervise her progress. I also told her I had no responsibility to support her after 18 so if this is the way she chose to live her life she better figure out how she was going to support herself.

She brought up all her grades within 2 weeks. She actually thanked me for helping her get out her slump and admitted she had been avoiding us because she was overwhelmed and ashamed. She developed a planner and we now have regular check-ins about her progress on assignments and grades. They are all As now and she is excited about college. She continues to see a therapist and has talked it through with her - the therapist sees the intervention as a positive step. She has earned back most of her privileges again but we keep a close eye and will take them away if grades slip. I know it sounds harsh, but your kid is literally throwing her life away at the most critical moment.[/quote]

This is much of what I was going to say.  Sit her down now.  Does she really want to go to college?   Remind her if she doesn't pass there will be no choice, but that you will not pay tuition for barely passing grades either.  She has minimal time to pull up this quarter's grades and has proven untrustworthy in managing it alone.  She needs to email every teacher and copy you.  No car, no sleepovers, no extras until the grades improve.  Prepare for a miserable holiday season with her being grouchy.  I'd restrict the phone during school and overnight hours but not take it away entirely.  That's her outlet and she should to have something.[/quote]

OP--We went through something similar when she was a junior and harsh tactics did not work at all. We already went through family therapy and she knows what needs to be done. Hubs gave her two weeks to improve on her own and then he will implement drastic measures. [/quote]

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