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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If the in-laws really wanted to spend time during holidays they would make an EQUAL effort and not just make passive-aggressive comments to a grandchild. 
Why isn't anyone questioning why the DH doesn't want to spend a lot of time with his parents?
[/quote]

They are making an equal effort.  OP's family aren't driving to her either, she's going to them.  So you want the ILs to make a MUCH BIGGER effort by bringing her pie or driving to her, while she caters to her side.

I'm almost always team DIL on this board but this is really bad behavior on OP's part [b]as a family member.[/b]  You can argue that her DH is worse, I guess, but it doesn't change that she's being ridiculous. [/quote]

How is it bad behavior that DIL spends the weekend after a holiday with DH and in-laws? [b]So, the DIL should spend the holiday with her in-laws and then the weekend after with her DH and in-laws?[/b]
If the DH doesn't show up the weekend after that would leave room for the MIL to complain she doesn't see her son. If the DH spends the weekend alone on the weekend with in-laws then DIL doesn't get to spend time with her DH.
If the DH is fine with the way things are I would just leave well enough alone.[/quote]

This is so obtuse.  She spends the weekend after with them BECAUSE she never spends the holiday with them.  If she saw them on the holiday she wouldn't visit with them again a week later.

People here are working really hard to pretend never seeing one side of the family on holidays, while always traveling to see the other side, when both are the same distance away, is perfectly normal.  It's not.  It's unbalanced, there doesn't appear to be a good reason for it other than OP is irritated with her DH's work schedule, and the grandma who wishes she could see her grandkids is not a monster for that extremely natural wish.[/quote]

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