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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He sounds immature, still trying to pretend who he is and where he came from, instead of accepting who he is. He may be embarrassed that he had advantages. Maybe his parents raised him saying, "We didn't have all these advantages when WE were growing up!" Or maybe he was duped by our insane president who pretends being broke and blue collar is better than being financially comfortable....[/quote]

OP here. I agree with you actually. I notice that his parents also have identity issues where while they actively took steps to ensure their children enter and thrive in a higher socioeconomic class, they also simultaneously display a lot of disdain for the UMC/UC. I don't really understand it. And whenever he or his sister display affinity for things their parents did not have or understand, the parents get super uncomfortable and make their children feel awkward. I recall, for example, when DH got me a Le Creuset pot for Christmas this one time, his mom threw a fit saying how "spoiled" I am because she got her first Le Creuset when she was in her 50s. Or when we traveled to Europe, his parents talked about how unnecessary and waste of money that was. Its almost like they don't know what to do with their children. They also feel super uncomfortable about their daughters UC fiance and are scared to meet his family as they feel embarrassed. 
[/quote]

NP. I can't wait to read the novel that OP apparently is researching by writing out the plot threads here and seeing how "real people" posters might react to them....

I had also come to post about "toffs" but eagle-eyed PPs caught that one quickly. I see OP returned to claim that DH picked up the term in his elaborately described schooling and time abroad. That would not be reason for him actually to employ that veddy veddy British term even if he understood and had heard it. He can't be as anti-snob as OP is painting him, yet also be willing to toss out a term like "toffs" easily, unless he was mocking OP by doing so....

If this is in any way remotely real, which I don't believe, OP already knows it's past time to divorce. Stop having sex with him immediately, too, OP, so you don't end up yoked to him because of a child. It's really so very easy to solve this -- IF you and he are for real. You can go be the toff you long to be in your striving soul, and he can move on and find the LMC woman of his supposed dreams, who will never drag him to an orchestral concert. No idea why you feel you need to work this divorce decision out with strangers here, when you've given it so much detailed thought as you show in your posts.[/quote]

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