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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back - we have decided just to split the holidays. He will have them for Thanksgiving and I will have them for Christmas. Since we are not travelling due to Covid, he will see them Christmas Eve. It all sucks, and is really unfair to our children. I feel terribly for them (and admittedly, sorry for myself) but I will not use them to get back at him. His relationship, whatever he choose it to be, is important.  [/quote]

That sounds good, OP. It’s going to be hard this first year but will get easier. And now you’re not living a lie. If you’re able to have anyone like your parents join you for Christmas Day, think about doing that or going to their house. I’m glad to hear you say you won’t put the kids in the middle. My parents did that and it really screwed up me and my sibling. I’m sorry you’re going through this. [/quote]

It's hard but this really can be the better approach.  Maybe you can volunteer somehow to take your mind off it and do some good in the world.[/quote]

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