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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I've dealt with more than one personality-disordered family member. Decide what you are comfortable with and do it. Send him a $15 giftcard for incidentals at the beginning of each month and tell him that is all you can do.

He will whine, complain, maybe even rage. You need to learn to ignore that. That is part of the disorder and how he is used to getting what he wants. Shut him down when he does that. End the conversation, don't respond to texts or voicemails until he can communicate properly. Don't bring it up again later - when he calms down talk to him normally. If he becomes abusive freeze him out. It sounds harsh but the guilt trip and demands will be neverending if you don't learn to shut down the manipulation.[/quote]

This, decide what you feel comfortable giving financially (if anything), make it clear, and stick to it. You can offer to help him make a budget and he will probably get angry. But then just say "I can give you a XX gift card XX often" and then kindly end the conversation/hang up. It's not about notebooks, or a coat, or any item... it's an unhealthy cycle and it is not fair to you to get sucked in. Agree that his therapist is not focusing on appropriate boundary setting with family members. Maybe seek some counseling for yourself if you haven't yet? [/quote]

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