Reply to Feel like the walls are closing in quickly

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Feel like the walls are closing in quickly"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP here. 8:31, you asked if I have any family to ask for help. My mom, who I'm extremely close with, lives in California as does my sister. My brother lives here, however he is totally in his own world and does not live in a home where my son and I could stay, especially because it's way too far from my work and even further from my son's school.

My mom has helped out a lot financially with my son's medical and educational needs, no way we could afford it otherwise. But I really wouldn't feel comfortable asking her for more to help out with a divorce, legal fees, etc.

13:10, my husband has always had issues, there is no question, but they really didn't come into full bloom until we moved here from California about 11 years ago. Not that things were wonderful before then, but they/he was not anywhere near the jerk he became here and continues to be.

To make matters worse, we moved here because after years of him hounding me to move east because he wanted to be near his family in NJ, I finally agreed because I felt it was only fair since we'd lived in California close to my family for the first 11 years of our marriage. I figured we'd give it a year and if it didn't work we'd move back.

Well, things just went downhill quick and by the time I wanted to move back the real estate in CA had gone through the roof and there was no way.

So I left my mom and sister, my lifelong friends and moved east for him and the way I got "repaid" is by him having a 5 year affair with a woman from high school (also married btw with kids). Then his lovely family treated me like I was the one who had the affair after they learned about it. This was after I had bent over backwards for them for so many years.

Believe me, if I would have had ANY inkling any of this would have happened when we moved here, there is no way in hell I would have ever budged!

13:12. I agree that a new therapist would probably be a good idea. I have interviewed a few and just can't seem to find one that I feel would be a good fit.

12:33, I agree with your suggestion about my husband and that is what I am trying to do, just leave it as is. The problem is that he continually does things on impulse that result in disasterous or near-disasterous consequences and has NO clue how to deal with my son's issues, which is a huge problem. However, despite it all, I agree with you that my son needs to be the focus right now.

As for the job, I actually do *not* bring my trouble to work and go there to get away from them. I'm never the gloom and doom type and always walk in with a big smile on my face. Yes, they are aware of my son's issues because it's a small business and we have had many get togethers over the years where my son has gone and they all are extremely fond of him, he is a super sweet kid.

I"ve had to take time off when my son's symptoms have ramped up, so there's no way I can hide what I deal with on that front. The problem is not my woes because I leave them at home, it is basically a situation of false accusations against me and a lot of backstabbing that I was obviously unaware of. it's a very small setting, so it's not like a huge store where I can find refuge by going to another department or whatever.

I will find another job, it just may take a little bit.

12:54, I'm so sorry for what you had to go through! I think you make a good point, to take things in "little steps." That is probably my biggest stumbling block because it's hard for me to piecemeal, I just see this huge pot full of crap and it's overwhelming to even know where or how to begin.

11:07, thanks so much for your suggestions and for the hugs:) As far as going to church, that's something that is very difficult for me because I hardly ever go, don't know anyone there and am very shy in groups where I don't know people. I'm totally fine with one-on-one or very small groups when we are there for the same purpose. For example, the support group I go to is myself and 5 other women. From day one I had no problem feeling comfortable and being open and honest with everyone. And I like being able to try and help other who are suffering because I know what it's like to be in their shoes.

Very tired now, off to sleep, tomorrow is another day and it will be a better one:)

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics