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[quote=Anonymous]OP - also sending you virtual hugs. I agree - you have a lot going on and I don't blame you for feeling completely overwhelmed. It is hard to make changes when all of your time and energy is being sucked up with a useless husband, SN child and long commute. And I can see that not having a support system can just put you over the edge and feel like the walls are closing in. I don't see you as making excuses - you are venting - and that is good - even anonymously, DCUM can be a support system. Even the mean posts can add value if you ignore the tone.

Any decision you make will be tough and scary. I don't want to tell you what to do, but if I was in your shoes (and this is only based on info you provided) I would:

- focus on my son first. If you haven't already posted on the SN board, I would, to at least get some advice. Hopefully you or your husband have decent insurance to cover your son's appt. Try and sort his health issues out - he is first priority.

-focus on you. It sounds like something happened at your job and your support network there. Since it is hard to find a job these days, I would try and step back from whatever is brewing at your work and re-focus on the job itself. You can't afford to be part of any drama. Yes - it sucks to lose important friendships, but it is important to keep this job until you find a new one. I know you are trying to find a new one - keep looking and don't get discouraged - you need to find something closer to home. And you say you don't have a lot of time, but can you carve out a couple hours on a Sunday morning to go to church? Even if you are not religious - just having a place to go where you can sit and just veg for an hour will provide comfort. Take your son, too.

-finally - your marriage. As uncomfortable as it is - until you sort through the above, I would just deal with this later. Don't bite off more than you can chew. When the time is right, you can address the situation with him. If you ever have an opportunity to catch him in a good mood - I would just address him - very calmly. "I am struggling in our marriage. I need your support. I don't think either of us wants to live like this" and just take the conversation from there. Chances are, he'll get defensive, but at least you get the conversation going. Depending on the outcome, I would then think about moving to my own place. You might not be able to afford the best location, but it will be a huge weight of your shoulder. Again - deal wuith this after you address everything else. I would also explore getting government support if you were to move out or get a separation. I don't know much about it, but it is worth looking into.

Good luck with everything - you have a lot going on and I wish you the best in making it through!!![/quote]

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