Reply to How do you deal with seeing people who hurt you out in the world?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the older I get, the less I believe that (1) there is a record and (2) it can be set "straight."

OP, I truly believe you would be happier living in another neighborhood.  [/quote]

I see this advice a lot in threads like this and it always seems weird to me. Don’t move, OP! Why would you let this woman dictate your life in that way? If you can find a way to be less bothered by her, that will be the true victory. Imagine how powerful it will be to hold your head high in the knowledge that it is this woman, not you, who did a terrible, shameful thing. Who makes up lies about others and spreads them around? Insecure, limited, callow people. It sounds like you are the opposite.

Also, while it’s true that sometimes there’s no setting the record straight, you know the truth about yourself. Live joyfully within that. Don’t subscribe to this woman’s lies. You may never convince someone if your old friends of the truth, but that doesn’t mean the truth ceases to exist. Hold onto it.[/quote]

I think people respond this way (tell people to move) because it makes the gossiper look bad if their target leaves the neighborhood.  I didn't believe it until I saw it myself.  There is a neighborhood near us, and there have been more than a few people over the years who decided to move from that particular neighborhood, to a couple neighborhoods away.  Some places have reputations for being gossipy - and incorrect about their information.  If people move from there, it becomes obvious which party is right and which one is really just looking for trouble where there is none. It makes the gossiper look bad if people leave, only to move nearby. In some cases, it drives the gossiper mad, which is actually funny. Gossipers don't win. If OP happens to find a nicer house in a nicer neighborhood, so be it. [/quote]

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