Reply to Help with coparenting when spouse is leaving for AP

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think OP needs to be prepared for changing reality. What if the EX and his new wife have kids? Half siblings of her own kids. You gotta play nice.[/quote]

OP, As I said in my original post, the AP has no children. She is considerably younger. I am aware of a changing reality, that’s life with divorce. What I am trying to do is make that reality less damaging for my kids. They don’t deserve any of this.[/quote]

Oh, I’m sorry you meant if they have kids together. My bad. Yes, I realize that is a likely scenario given her age. I would never, ever make things more difficult for my children or their half siblings. Even for the AP, especially if she becomes my kids’ stepmother. Right now, however, she is the woman my husband is leaving me for and I don’t want her around. I’m entitled to that. [/quote]

You are not going to be able to block her from seeing the kids except if there is abuse or neglect.[/quote]

That’s not what the right of first refusal is intended for. It protects OP’s children and gives them more of a voice.

For example, many men ask for 50/50 custody to lower child support. If dad is going on a business trip during his week, he could easily decide to leave the kids with stepmom — and without right of first refusal, there’s nothing OP can do. Of course the kids would prefer to stay with their mom in that scenario. Same if he wants to go on couples trips with the AP. It creates an incentive for the dad to actually spend time with his children during his custody. He can’t just dump them on his new wife or his mom or a random babysitter. This is not about preventing the children from spending time with the new wife while their dad is there.[/quote]

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