Reply to Different Fitness Levels

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Reply to "Different Fitness Levels"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been struggling with an issue for the past couple of years: my spouse and I are at completely different fitness levels. While this has always been the case, the disparity has never been this great. I've always been more fit, but since our engagement/wedding, I've gotten more fit and my spouse has gone the opposite direction. I love my spouse all the same, but I can't pretend that there hasn't been a drop off in physical attraction because of it.

I feel like I'm the only one making a good effort to remain physically attractive (although it is as much for myself as my spouse). I am also concerned for my spouse as there are numerous health issues to think about when we get older. I don't know how to bring this up in a way that doesn't hurt my spouse's feelings. But I find myself less frequently wanting to have sex, which makes me feel guilty, but doesn't change that fact.

[b]Has anyone else been able to successfully broach this subject with minimal fallout?[/b][/quote]

No.  Nothing works with my DH. He is obese.  His body has no appeal to me. He cannot even function properly as a male now because of PE and an organ which has become lost in the pubic fat. Yet, he wants to get off and I used to get him off because I felt sorry. Also, I felt that he has all qualities of a very good husband and in all other ways he is fantastic, so why be shallow. Afterall. he was an attractive male and I found him appealing physically when he was 50 lbs lighter.  However, regarding sex, his weight has  changed a wife who is a high libido  into a person who is happier using a BOB and calling it a day.  I love him.  I will never cheat.  But, I feel repulsed when he is naked.

Telling him that I am worried about his health does not resonate. Telling him I am not finding him physically attractive makes him angry and he calls me selfish and cruel.  So now I ignore him for intimate needs.  I am still a good and loving wife but it is mainly sexless marriage.

[/quote]

Many months ago I posted nearly this exact thing. Many DCUM readers took offense, they “reported” my post, and my post was deleted.

Of course I am a man, so that explains why all the hate over my post (yet none for PP) and why the website editor deleted my post (yet not PP).
Carry on. [/quote]

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