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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this is just a variant on people who spend a fortune on their homes so that all the teens will prefer to go to Cheryl's house with the pool and the pool house and the movie theater room and the awesome groceries in the fridge, rather than to Louisa's apartment.  It's the idea of parents forcing other families to compete for teenager's time and friendship.  All of it is very wrong on so many levels My SIL is always bragging about how her popular child was invited on someone else's expensive vacation.  Isn't that kind of like 'poaching' a friend by inviting a kid to go skiing with you or to your beach house?  Pretty good way to get the kid to spend time there rather than at someone else's boring house.[/quote]

Depends on the vacation.  If the teens initiated the vacation, asked for it themselves, made all the plans, and did not deliberately leave out one (!!!) particular person - then I see nothing wrong with it.

However, if the parents socially engineered the vacation, that is totally inappropriate.  Funny you mention that situation, because I have seen this, but the mom (same group, different mom, but same intention) specifically invited an entire group, leaving one nice girl out, definitely on purpose (no second guessing, it was deliberate). As if to separate one nice girl, and try to "replace" her with their daughter.  Again, this all seems so mean and contrived, and especially stunted.

What better way to make your teen a social outcast than being so involved and trying so hard?  What issues do you have, that it is so important to you to get involved in this way?  Why is it okay to be so involved in such an unhealthy manner?  It sounds nuts, like PPs stated. Maybe get professional help instead of internalizing your teen's situation, and actually making it worse. No matter how you try to hide or deny it, the teens know exactly what is happening; and you are telling your daughter you have no faith in her making her own friends.  How awful. [/quote]

She invited an entire group on vacation and left out one?[/quote]

Yes, same group, different mom.  The moms are stunted and think "as long as my teen isn't adversely affected - no matter that the teen we stole the friend/s from, who did nothing wrong, is now crying - as long as it is not my teen crying.  Let's make someone else cry instead, and who cares!"  Obviously, holdover feelings from when the moms were in school and were not able to make friends.  No wonder.

How rotten can you be.[/quote]

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