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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's my take on it.

FWIW, my kids don't do either one (academic prep or athletic coaching).  [b] I am sure they will turn out just fine[/b].  [/quote]

Agree on the last sentence.  However, one's frame of reference for "fine" also changes over time.

I applied to go to school in the US 20+ years ago.  Was admitted to Yale MBA (no merit aid) but ended up doing an MS at Penn State instead because they gave me money.  As a foreigner, no merit aid was possible.  Did I turn out fine? Of course.  Would I have turned out finer if I had gone to Yale?  You bet!  That's what these parents - both the test preppers and sports coaching parents - are shooting for.. Yale and not UPenn.  Can't blame them.  We may not agree with them but as long as it's possible, these parents will try.  [/quote]

I am the PP you responded to.  Spouse and I both attend one of "those schools" that parents are shooting for.  I disagree that it made a big difference.  Sure, there were people in my graduating class there who you see in the news, but I also have classmates who are run-of-the-mill doctors, lawyers, engineers, even elementary teachers.  The people I know who are most successful are those who found careers they love and are really good at, regardless of where they went to undergrad.  I do think there can be an advantage to big name grad schools in certain fields, but those top schools admit top students from all sorts of undergrad programs.

I think people are most likely to be successful if they are not pushed in a certain direction by their parents.  They need to find their own way, and the chances that parents are pushing them into the field that is "right" for them in elementary school seems really slim.  Our kids are smart and hardworking and do well in school.  As parents, we want them to be motivated, which means being well rounded enough to discover their passions.[/quote]

I attended a small private liberal arts college for undergrad and was accepted into a top 25 Doctoral Program, which I completed. There are prestige schools which look great and can be great, if you figure out how to take classes with the top professors at the school, but they really are not that different then most other Universities. A kid who is willing to put in the work and is interested in learning will thrive at most Universities and will find plenty of Graduate opportunities or employment opportunities. The same can be said for elite high schools.

I am not stressing about my kid getting into TJ, he will do fine if he does and he will do fine if he doesn't. Why? Because he is bright and has involved parents. If he said he wanted to attend a math class, I would be fine with that. If he wants to do other clubs, I am fine with that. He is 8. He doesn't need to be pushed any further ahead in math. I want him to enjoy school and make his best effort. Outside of school, I want him to find what interests him and pursue those areas. I think ES is far too early to be pushing kids into activities that take dominate his life.

If other families want to push their kids ahead, more power to them. I hope that their kids really enjoy what their parents are putting them in. But my kid is not competing with your kid academically, mainly because I am comfortable that my DS will be successful if he ends up at his base school and not TJ. I know that he can be successful if he doesn't end up at an Ivy League school or a prestige school. I already know he is not going on an athletic scholarship, so I am cool with his not wanting to try out for travel teams. He does enjoy the sports clinics he asks to participate in.[/quote]

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