Reply to Husband insisted on having dinner at in-laws even though I was unwell

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here, I was diagnosed with Carpel Tunnel on Friday evening. MIL and SIL planned winery trip with DH and I was not included in the planning texts. DH tells me Friday night, hey lets go to the winery with my family in the morning. Thinking it would be a 3-4 hour morning ordeal, I said ok, sure.

I took my advil and went to bed.

In the morning I am informed DH volunteered to be the DD and we will be stopping at In law's house to pick them up. I was annoyed because I specifically told him I wanted us to have SEPARATE driving arrangements as I do not want to spend more time with them than necessary. MIL also gets drunk and annoying so I do not like to be around her so a car ride back with a drunk MIL is a terrible idea to me. He clearly ignored my request, went behind my back and volunteered to be the DD.

So we get there, park and apparently it is decided we are taking in laws' car even though we had the larger SUV.

I sit in the backseat with MIL and her dog and endure an additional hour of socializing with his not very nice parents. (MIL surprisingly was in a good mood and was being nice so it wasn't a big deal)

We get to the winery and a good time is had by all. I do not drink very much as I do not like wine and wasn't feeling that good. I was also taking care of MIL's dog and she kept pulling on the leash which irritated my already hurting arm.

It is there that I learn that MIL has made stew for dinner. SIL says yes lets all stay for dinner! I am confused as I thought this was just a morning-early afternoon engagement. I turn to DH and whisper I didnt realize this was a whole day affair. He shrugs and says yes his mother has been working hard on the stew and he is excited to try it. I am annoyed but I am hoping MIL and SIL will be too drunk to follow through.

Around 4 pm we ride back to MIL's house. SIL and her fiance say its late and theyd rather get home and want the stew to go. MIL says ok and asks me, "I'll pack it to go for yo as well." I say, "Yes, please thank you"

DH walks in and when he hears everyone is leaving he looks at me, "what? No we're staying! Mom worked so hard!" MIL insists its not a big deal, "Your wife doesn't want to stay and Im packing it up for your sister as well."

DH insists that no, we are staying. I say, "Actually I want to go home as my arm is acting up and I don't feel well."

DH says its not a big deal. He will get me an advil and get me a blanket and I can play with the dog while food is being heated up.

At this point I reluctantly give in and say ok as I don't want to create drama.

We stay for 3-4 hours. On the way home I say, "BTW I really didn't like that you overruled me and decided to stay when I kept telling you I wanted to go home"

DH blows up. "No. Don't you ruin my day again! I can't do anything without you ruining my day!"

I say very calmly, "This is not a fight. I am just requesting that when I say I am not feeling well, please don't make me. If you wanted to spend more time with your parents you were free to go over tomorrow morning and spend all day there."

My husband says angrily, "you have no manners!"

I laugh, " That is rich for you to say-"

"I am NOT having this conversation with you." And he plugged his finger in his ears as a way to stop hearing me.

I stopped talking.

I still feel pretty sick about his behavior. Just another one of his instances of abusing me. I don't know why I expect him to act like a normal husband.[/quote]

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