Reply to Are single people in their thirties really the “undesirables”?

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Reply to "Are single people in their thirties really the “undesirables”?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Statistically, people who marry in their 30s are more likely to stay married and report greater marital happiness than people who marry in their 20s.

And here are my anecdotals:

- All of the divorces I know involved at least one partner who was in their 20s when they married. There is a lot about married life you don't understand at that age, and it can hit you in the face when you learn about it.

- All of the open marriages I know of involved people who married in their early to mid 20s. Now, I have nothing against open marriage -- consenting adults should do whatever they want. But I personally have never been interested in it, nor has my husband, despite being monogamous for more than 15 years. I think that's at least in part because we met in our 30s after both having very active dating lives in our 20s and early 30s. People who didn't do that might have a harder time with really long-term monogamy.

- I personally would not have made a good marriage partner in my 20s. I grew up in a dysfunctional family and had to go to therapy and work on myself for a while. Now my husband and marriage both benefit greatly from those years of therapy and self work. For instance, my husband and I have very gently, productive, arguments. Also, I have a whole support network in place so it's not on my husband to meet all of my needs. These are things that are harder to accomplish in your 20s unless you are very mentally balanced and mature. My experience is that these qualities are extremely rare at that age (though if it's you -- congrats!).

- Having kids in your mid to late 30s is less stressful because you are more financially stable, more established in your careers, and old enough not to mourn the loss of your freedom as much as you would in your 20s.[/quote]

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