Reply to I feel like I’ve become my parent’s employee.

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[quote=Anonymous]OK as someone with friends who are from Africa and friends who have parents from China and Korea parents....you are not giving the whole story.

Africa- Very common for the caregiver to have all sorts of physical issues caring for mom. You are not supposed to complain, but you are allowed to have physical problems. Therapy is frowned upon so a good friend of mine only ended up there when a physician ruled out every cause he could think of for her headaches, back-aches, digestive issues, etc. She finally in therapy realized how much taking care of her mom was doing her in,but still struggled to set boundaries. Her girlfriends from childhood were struggling as well.

Asian cultures...From my own friends I can tell you a bunch of things...

1) Mom moves in and might also take care of grandchildren, cook and clean. That's not the same as taking in someone who cannot help in anyway. When it comes to caregiving for mom or dad when they are ill just like in many cultures many family fights can ensue resulting in estrangements.

2.) Those who took in their own parents are often planning their own retirement and know their kids will never do the same for them after seeing how awful it could be.[/quote]

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