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[quote=Anonymous]Consider it a gift and be pleasantly surprised if you get it back.   That said, the PP who mentioned "chronic money issues" should clarify.

Ex: A parent who has a heart attack during college and is then illegally laid off [verified] during an economic recession/depression and the hospital bills destroy their savings and they struggle to maintain their mortgage, car, or child's public, state university. Child is straight A student who got plenty of scholarships but not enough to cover col + tuition and is already working two jobs along with full-time school. They also take great care of their car and it was bad luck (like black ice) What do you do?  Are you really going to begrudge helping them stay in the house or finish a final semester or two of school if you have the money and it would in no way jeopardize your finances?

This may be "chronic" as in, not immediately resolvable without a significant influx. But nobody in their right mind would compare this to a drug issue or partying or mental health issues vs just bad timing and bad luck. Items or loans aren't for MLM nonsense or a new boat or whatever.

Are you willing to harm your relationship by holding a grudge over a small amount of money? Are they maliciously screwing you over? That matters.

Are you treating them like a slave or so badly they have to cut you off because you are insane-this is 100% aimed at people who believe others should be their lifelong slaves for offering to cover their meal at dinner logic-so they go no contact rather than deal with you anymore? That's really on you, in that case. Because you're crazy.

Normally, for us it's a 0% interest system of loans and if they are off by a month or two because they are covering something more important, no worries. Or if they aren't paid back, np. Don't lend money you can't afford to not see again.

It's different for people who are more than able to pay for their own things and then consistently don't pay, like BIL's family on our cell plan because we get a great discount. SO won't kick them off but has to remind them every month. They make well over 150k in a low COL area and should pay on time or get their own plan.

Sometimes, if my family  isn't able to pay back in cash, then sometimes it is in the form of house or pet or child sitting but they would have done that anyway because that is what family does! No hard feelings.

A rising tide lifts all boats, assuming family is important to you and neither of you are abusive and manipulative about it.  [/quote]

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