Reply to How to raise nice, polite kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a very polite preschooler - I heard it during our parent teacher conference today and hear it from her friends' parents that my kid has taught their kids to be more polite. Not bragging, just context.

I did not grow up in a polite household. Nobody ever said please, thank you, I'm sorry. The biggest thing is modeling - you use your please, thank you, and I'm sorry's consistently. And prompt and remind every time - "please try that again using your manners - 'can I please have a drink?' not 'I want a drink' thank you, Larla." And give them new language if they're consistently saying something rude in context. Mine was saying "hey" constantly to get attention and "hey is for horses" did nothing, but saying "please say 'excuse me' not 'hey'" worked.

And model it with everyone. Your spouse, people in the grocery store, etc. You actually have to be as well mannered as you want your kids to be. [/quote]

OP here. Thanks. These kids parents certainly dont seem rude. Perhaps it's the shows they watch?

Or is this just what happens when your kids hit elementary school?

I am generally appalled at their language. "Ok, ok, she stopped talking....keep playing!" was nutso rude to me. Am I too sensitive? [/quote]

The parents might know how to be situationally polite, but they are probably different at home. So many people are like this. They will smile and be polite to other parents at school, but at home they will gossip and talk down about other people constantly, right in front of their kids. So their kids learn that other people don't matter and that the politeness their parents show at school functions and in public is not genuine.

Keep modeling good manners, kindness, and empathy for your kids. Do it in public but also in private. Show them empathy and expect them to show you empathy. And if you mess up, just own up to it and show your kids what apologies look like and that everyone, including adults, can do it.

Your kids might mimic their peers for a time, but in the end it will be the example you set that they emulate. I promise.[/quote]

Yes, this!! So true. Your own behavior matters so so much. [/quote]

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