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[quote=Anonymous]I am the kind of wife you’re looking for, but I got engaged at 21 and had my first kid at 24. Frankly, any woman your age you find is going to have spent the last decade of her life having her own little world and life and things that bring her accomplishment and joy. I think my marriage, which had the dynamic you’re describing (though DH does hang with the kids a lot when he isn’t working and is happy to help me with chores when he can) only works because we grew up together. His career and responsibilities at work and to provide for his family, my workload and number of kids/ages/size of house — these were all things we took on together, as partners with different spheres but substantial knowledge of the other’s world. (Non-overlapping magisteria, you could say.) Neither of us really had an independent life to give up when we joined our lives together. We got together at 19 and 20. We were engaged before I graduated college. We’re deliriously happy (or possibly just delirious with exhaustion? Three kids and a pregnancy and a startup!) but it’s not for everyone and it’s a lot harder to do that sort of symbiosis if you’re starting late. [/quote]

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