Reply to WWYD: DH becoming cheap, workaholic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]if u want to spend money then get a job and spend your money.[/quote]

Yeah, you guys are in your 40s, kids are in school, get a part time job and use that slush fund for fun.

Probably should get counseling, but at this point you have little recourse.  In our house everyone has "veto" power -- I can say no to something my spouse can buy and vice versa, and it sounds like you sorta of have that.

If you want impunity of spending, you need separate accounts and either have him give you an "allowance" or earn your own.[/quote]

Well I can’t get a job until the Pandemic ends and kids go back to school full time. The younger ones need a lot of organizational help and hand holding on the asynchronous days.

Plus the 4 yo won’t start full time school for another year and a half.

The thing is though, even I got a job, I would be making so much less than him it would be laughable. How would me making ~ 50k really change our dynamic? This is what I wonder. It’s not like we’re not going on vacation now because we can’t afford it. He made over a million dollars last year. We can afford an extra vacation. He just doesn’t want to take the time off for it and he doesn’t want me to go alone.[/quote]

Yeah, but your $50k would be yours to do whatever you want with, and a $50k vacation would be very very nice.  Are you sure it would be *that* low? What is your career/education?

And even just contributing something can change the dynamic.

How many kids do you have?  You have older and younger ones in school, and a 4 year old in your 40s??????[/quote]

Why do you assume it would be hers to do whatever with? It would go into the family pot, which is where his money goes. He would then have veto power over how it is used. What’s good for the goose, etc.[/quote]

1) She can setup her own checking account without him even seeing it. 2) It sounds like he got the fancy car and club membership, so she can argue that this is her equivalent 3) he literally will not be able to stop her from spending money from her own account, that she earned and travel.  I guess he could keep the kids, but assuming he needs to work I doubt that will happen.[/quote]

Um, don’t you think this man is going to notice that his wife has a new job? He’s not going to let her have accounts that he can’t access if she is able to access all of his.

Plus he sounds too cheap to pay for daycare. She has to wait until the little one is in school.[/quote]

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