Reply to WWYD: DH becoming cheap, workaholic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]if u want to spend money then get a job and spend your money.[/quote]

Yeah, you guys are in your 40s, kids are in school, get a part time job and use that slush fund for fun.

Probably should get counseling, but at this point you have little recourse.  In our house everyone has "veto" power -- I can say no to something my spouse can buy and vice versa, and it sounds like you sorta of have that.

If you want impunity of spending, you need separate accounts and either have him give you an "allowance" or earn your own.[/quote]

Well I can’t get a job until the Pandemic ends and kids go back to school full time. The younger ones need a lot of organizational help and hand holding on the asynchronous days.

Plus the 4 yo won’t start full time school for another year and a half.

The thing is though, even I got a job, I would be making so much less than him it would be laughable. How would me making ~ 50k really change our dynamic? This is what I wonder. It’s not like we’re not going on vacation now because we can’t afford it. He made over a million dollars last year. We can afford an extra vacation. He just doesn’t want to take the time off for it and he doesn’t want me to go alone.[/quote]

Yeah, but your $50k would be yours to do whatever you want with, and a $50k vacation would be very very nice.  Are you sure it would be *that* low? What is your career/education?

And even just contributing something can change the dynamic.

How many kids do you have?  You have older and younger ones in school, and a 4 year old in your 40s??????[/quote]

I was a teacher. I haven’t worked in ten years. Oldest is 12, youngest is 4. I’m 42.[/quote]

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