Reply to Is it ethical of me to cut off my 75 yo sister financially?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Is it ethical of me to cut off my 75 yo sister financially? - more inside"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I’m so sorry, OP. This is definitely very stressful. But as much as you dislike and are uncomfortable with this roommate, your sister is “happy and content” and wishes to continue living with her; it’s comfortable for her and it’s what she chooses. She has the right to self-determination, and it doesn’t sound like her life is in danger. On the contrary, the roommate is bringing your sister to her medical appointments and getting her food.

It’s very possible that if this person were removed from your sister’s orbit, she would decompensate, physically and emotionally, and would become much more dependent on you. Although her situation isn’t ideal, it has allowed her to maintain equilibrium; this may be as good as it gets for her. The key words are “happy and content” — you don’t want to disrupt that; it could be to your own detriment.

All that being said, you have the right to set firm boundaries, to preserve your own well-being. You have to soul search and figure out what you can live with. It’s tricky because the things you mention - AC, flooding repair, are integral to her health but honestly, any needs beyond her basic survival, I would just let go of (including the hoarding - it doesn’t seem to bother your sister, and it’s not an imminent threat). And if they won’t allow repair people in, there’s really not much you can do, beyond call Adult Protective Services to do a welfare check if you are concerned for your sister’s survival (like if she is living without heat in frigid weather, for example). Figure out what is a bare necessity, and let go of *everything* else.

It’s a tricky balance beyond allowing for her self-determination, and trying to keep her out of imminent danger, while maintaining your own boundaries.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics