Reply to S/O - If you were a 'gifted' kid, how does that inform your parenting choices?

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Reply to "S/O - If you were a 'gifted' kid, how does that inform your parenting choices?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was never challenged in school until high school. I was a lazy student because I never had to study and when I did homework I did it quickly in class. As a result I never developed good study skills and to this day I am a procrastinator. I just signed up my almost 5 year old for Kumon because I want him to develop study skills/ work ethic. He already can read and I don't care what level of math he is in right now.  I am doing it so he gets used to working independently for 10 to 15 min. a day at his level.[/quote]

This was me.  I was the smartest kid in elementary and middle school but it came so easily that I never learned to sit my ass in a chair and work hard at something.  This made for a very rude awakening in high school and despite my high SAT scores I got into only an OK college.  I got it together and transferred, but it would have been easier to learn those lessons earlier.  I can already tell that my 2-year-old is quite a bit smarter than average, although I wouldn't say he is profoundly gifted.  (I don't think I was either, but I was always in all the GT programs.)  Instead of making a big deal of things that come easily to him, I try as hard as I can to praise his effort, not his result.  When I see him struggling with something I try as hard as I can not to swoop in and help or do it for him.    [/quote]

This was me as well. I loved school, but I was lucky in that my mom advocated for me and got me into a lot of enrichment programs. I'm also good at finding things to occupy myself, so if I got bored in class, I'd read or create my own work, often at the expense of the 'required' work. I struggle with busy work even now, my follow-through is very poor.

I also have my XH's and xBIL's experiences that I think about when it comes to learning and schooling. Both were gifted, but had undiagnosed LDs, so they HATED school. XH became a troublemaker, he's very charming and skated through with very little consequences for his behavior (still does actually). He has serious issues with authority and is very, very entitled. If it's not fun, he won't do it. He thinks school is a waste of time and academics are pointless. He also thinks he is a genius and everyone else is an idiot. xBIL was bullied and at one point was labeled Special Ed, which did a number on his self-esteem. Neither went to college, xBIL is now back in school at 31.

I want DC to have a good work ethic, to follow through on things and work hard even if there's no immediate reward. I know he loves to learn and I do encourage reading, questioning, figuring things out at home. I also don't want him to fall into the trap XH did, thinking that because he's smart, he's special and deserves to have the world handed to him on a platter. Success comes to people that work hard, not people that think faster than others.[/quote]

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