Reply to Did you ever feel taken advantage of by your elderly parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I feel like the more I committed I was to my parents the less they appreciated me. (And oddly, my mom distrusts me thought I’m the only family member who hasn’t betrayed her.) [/b]I had to move on from my family a long time ago. I’m not angry, just worn out.

The fact that your mom isn’t considering the financial needs of your SN child says a lot about her. [/quote]

This is actually very common. They distrust you exactly because they’ve been betrayed before. They don’t appreciate you because they’re thinking your kindness is some type of long con. There’s nothing you can do. The more you try to help, the more they have to confront their own limitations—which they hate. It’s much easier to blame you. It’s much easier to insist they’re not asking for much, so why can’t you just pick up groceries for them? And their medications and tidy up around the house a little? And why are you whining so much? This generation is so entitled!

You can’t win. [/quote]

The most fascinating and telling tirade from my mother was when she screamed at the top of her lungs what I selfish bitch I was for saying all her emergency calls and hysteria are not only draining me emotionally, but I know have some physical issues I need to look into. I asked her with her massive amount of money to hire help. She who visited her own parents several times a year, called them some and did nothing for her inlaws continued to rant about how "THIS is what family does." She then raged at me some more for being an entitled bitch. I can still hear the words and feel the physical reaction and hear the tone of her voice and while it still stings it told me all I need to know about who she is as a person. She valued nothing I did and anything else I did would never measure up. I finally realized I could do less and have her think I am a selfish piece of sh&t and complain to others about me or I could do more and have her think I am a selfish piece of sh&t and have her complain to others about me. That is what made the decision easy for me. I finally accepted there is no win. There is no appreciation. There is no making her happy. [/quote]

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