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[quote=Anonymous]OP, these responses have been harsh truths. I agree with you 100% and have felt similarly. (Sidenote: I was incredibly frustrated to find out that my practice allowed a partner (unmasked!) in the waiting room while his pregnant partner was in her appointment. In my mind, while this kept the practitioner safe, it was not safe to the patients who are trusting the practice with our safety. I shared this with the office manager, and she agreed.)

I experienced a pretty traumatic pregnancy loss and struggled to conceive again, so the thought of not having my husband with me was really, really hard to swallow. I understood that yes, it's COVID, so maybe not an ideal time to become pregnant, but being of a certain age with fertility issues, I didn't really see an option to wait this out. Similarly to high school seniors missing out on big, promised milestones, I felt like I was having to mourn the expectation of the excitement DH and I would share seeing and hearing our baby together for the first time. I also believe that I can simultaneously hold space for gratitude that I am not experiencing other hardships of COVID that many are while still feeling sadness for this; the two are not in competition with each other. I wonder if you might be feeling similarly?

Like other posters, what's helped me is having him drive me to appointments (I know he's in the car waiting, and if something really bad would happen, he could meet me in the building outside of the office door) and face-time while I'm there, so he's seeing and hearing the exact things I am. He might not have been holding my hand when we first saw the baby and heard his heartbeat, but we still did it together. We talked about doing a private ultrasound that he could attend, but he actually said that being on the facetimes has given him the sense of involvement that he was looking for; that made me feel happy for him that his emotional needs were being met, and you should know that option will exist for you and your husband as well.

I hope hearing my experience helps you feel a little less alone in your feelings and lets you know that the workarounds, while not the same, do help.[/quote]

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