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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I lost my sister extremely suddenly in a shocking manner, close to the holidays, and it was about 2 months before my brain even felt like it was working right. I'd have good days, and then I'd have days where I couldn't even concentrate and I'd get to the end of the day and literally have no memory of what happened that day. Getting showered/dressed/ready for the day sometimes would take 3x as long as normal, and I had absolutely no recollection of where the time went.

I honestly could only start processing my grief after that point, and I was in therapy and joined a grief group (structured for 10 weeks). The grief group helped a lot in terms of having a place to feel my feelings and not neglect grieving, but also being able to truly set it aside when i wasn't in the space to deal with it. It kept me moving through the process but also not in it 24/7.

I would say I felt mostly normal after about 6 months, but it never has stopped that I will sometimes randomly burst into tears when I think of her or something kind of eerie happens. Also if I'm under stress, I find myself stuffing my feelings, and then they will come out in a flood.

I am not much of a crier, or at least I always tried really hard to avoid it, and I learned the importance of letting the crying out when it comes and/or the next appropriate time. It is literally a physical release for your body and emotions and has major benefits to both. If i go too long without crying now (like a 6-8+), I know I am not tending to my emotions well and will try to create safe opportunities for myself to cry because it seems to clear up emotional stress quickly. [/quote]

My sister died 4 years ago in a sudden, traumatic way. I’d say I’m still not back to normal. My mother is worse. Her teenage daughters, who witnessed her death and were at risk during it, aren’t ever going to recover. 
The first several days I was with my parents and siblings and her kids. Mine were at home, where I left them when the news came in the middle of the night. 
Couldn’t eat. 
I definitely had depression. For 6 months I barely slept. I’d wait til everyone else was asleep and then I’d torture myself with photos and memories and cry.  Finally went to dr and took medicine until about a year ago. It helped but was just masking issues.

Reaching the point where I was older than my sister when she died was hard. Helping my niece get ready for college without her mom was hard. Happy events are always tinged with sadness.

Some days are worse than others. The grief is a wave story is so true. Sometimes it’s lapping at my feet, sometimes I’m swept under. 
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